Things I Learned From A Series of Unfortunate Events

-The definitions of complicated words
-How to make life-saving devices with few materials
-What puttanesca is
-All about the knot called Devil's Tongue
-How to milk a snake
-What it feels like losing a loved one
-How to eavesdrop without getting caught
-At least 50 possible ways to die from a common household object
-Correct (and over-obsessive) grammar
-How to write in code
-All about lumber mills
-What an optimist is like
-All about hypnotism
-How to say 'Remember you will die' in Latin
-How to get rid of fungus using salt
-The difference between 'nervous' and 'anxious'
-What's in and out
-That the periodic table is missing the element of surprise
-How wrong newspapers can be
-The different kinds of libraries there are
-How to write couplets
-How to escape a cell using only water, bread, and a bench
-The history of the bowie knife
-How to disguise oneself
-How to make a meal using only a few items
-All about freakshows
-How fortune-telling works
-How to draw an eye using the letters V,F,and D
-The silliness of fashion
-That well-read people can usually be trusted
-That the presentation of food is as important as the taste
-How boring the water cycle is
-That he (or she) who hesitates isn't necessarily lost
-How mushrooms wax and wane
-That Edgar Guest writes 'tedious' poetry
-That wasabi is a substitute for horseradish
-La Forza del Destino cannot be avoided
-All about the Dewey Decimal system
-That is is enough to be noble
And lastly:
-There are two kinds of people in this world; those who start fires, and those who put them out.