Just Add Zombies

I see them everywhere. There's not one classic that hasn't been degraded into a pulp-fiction horror novel.
It all started with Pride & Prejudice & Zombies. And then he just had to come out with Sense & Sensibility & Sea Monsters.
And now everyone else is jumping on the bandwagon.
Why? What twisted mind decided it would be a good idea to take a classic love story and add zombies?
And if that's not enough, Mr. Darcy is now a vampire (according to Amanda Grange) and Jane Eyre is now Jane Slayre.
Emma and the Vampires.
Mansfield Park and Mummies.

Jane Austen must be rolling in her grave.

But no classic story is safe. Romeo and Juliet have become vampires. And Little Women? Apologies, I mean Little Vampire Women.
And now they've got their claws on history! Queen Victoria is actually a Demon Hunter.
They've even gotten hold of Abraham Lincoln. That's right: Abraham Lincoln, Vampire Hunter.

I have a splendid idea: Let's take all of the most heartfelt books ever written and completely degrade them by adding blood, gore, and the undead.
Who needs a well-written novel when you've got zombies?

Authors of these books are simply unimaginative money-grubbers who can't come up with any good ideas of their own. So they take the classics and add the most meaningless drivel in order to earn a quick buck.

Pride & Prejudice & Zombies. Who'd have guessed?